Dorkism Defined

I've been reading about Tova Darling's Totally Awkward Tuesdays for a few weeks now. I knew right away, this was something I could do every week for years without running out of stories, so I decided to just jump feet first this week into the icy waters of (DUM DUH DAH <---scary noises) Junior High School.

I went to a small school where K-12, we were all in one big building. Jr. High and High School kids took some classes (like band) together. I had a huge crush on this high school boy. Now understand that many of these posts could start this way because I was a hormonal mess and generally had a new huge crush every week or so. This particular boy was popular - football player, drummer in the band, basketball, baseball - you know the boy. I also thought he was good looking, although having pulled out a high school yearbook recently, I can't remember why I thought that. But I did. I was probably paying more attention to his butt for some reason than his face. What is about teenage girls and butts? Honestly, when it comes to high school boys, the only possible function a butt could serve is to stink up a school bus or a classroom. But, there's a chance that I am just babbling to put off the really embarrasing part:

I had gone to babysit for the son of a friend of my dad's. He was only a toddler, so in bed by 8pm. I noticed that these folks had a typewriter in their living room, and I was just dying to try it out. With my mind constantly screaming the crush-boy's name at me (Ryan by the way), the only obvious thing I could do was to type him a letter. So I did. And I swear to all that is good and holy, it went a little something like this:

Dear Ryan,
I think you're super cute. I really want to get to know you better. Sometimes it's hard to imagine when we would have time - the school hallways are always so busy. But I wanted to give you this letter so that you might take the time to talk to me. Just know that I want you to like me for me and NOT for the material things that surround me.
Love always,
Gertrude

Yes, I DID launch into some Madonna lyrics. Looking back, I can't imagine what I was thinking for SO many reasons. What kind of message was I trying to send? I didn't even HAVE any material things, for the love of Pete.
My friend, who I excitedly let read the letter before taking it to him for me BEGGED me not to give it to him. I couldn't imagine why. She did give it to him, though, right in the lunch room. Where he took it to the table. And read it in front of ALL of his friends.
I know you're wondering, "GERTIE!? Did he run over to your table and pronounce his undying love for you right that very moment over your plate of beefy mac and green beans!?" The shocking answer is NO. He did NOT.
But thinking back, I must have somehow put that incident completely out of my mind for the remainder of the years he and I attended school together because I can remember several conversations with him in which I did not melt away in embarrassment while remembering that letter.
And the other day, he requested to add me on Facebook. I had to stop and wonder momentarily, "Is he doing this so that he can show all of his new grown up friends the girl who wrote that letter!?"