How to Jinx Yourself In Just Five Easy Steps

#1. Listen to your great aunt's story about how she got stung in the face by a red wasp that morning and is now headed to the hardware store for wasp bombs.

#2. Tell great aunt how you have literally not been stung in twenty years and how you have stopped buying epi pens because you think you've just figured out how to avoid being stung and that it's been so long now you doubt you would even have an allergic reaction if you DID get stung. (smile wisely)

#3. Go to lunch with husband the very day you had the conversation with great aunt.

#4. Accidentally piss off a bunch of red wasps.

#5. Get stung

Following the above self jinxing procedure, wait for your tongue to swell up and then take benadryl. Try not to fall asleep at work.

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