Thursday, June 4, 2009

To the Powers That Be:

I'm here to make a case that I believe would benefit all of humanity:

I would like to ask that every teenager be struck dumb from the age of 13-22.
Please make exceptions during that period if one of them decides they have something nice to say (no, no - it shouldn't be much of a challenge to keep track as I'm convinced this will only happen 2.7 times per year. I've done the math).

The age range should be determined on an individual basis in case some of them happen upon an early case of common sense.

If you would like a good example of why this is necessary, you can visit my son today. You'll find him hoeing between every single row in the garden. Please remind him that if he had not spun his head around and projectile vomited pea soup at me before I was even fully awake, he would instead be riding his bike all over town with my little sisters.

Also, if you need an administrator to run this program, I would be happy to fill that position.




  1. I propose the use of shock collars instead. That way parents can get a certain degree of satisfaction for every smart aleck comment.

  2. You make a great point WeaselMomma! I would have definitely zapped him this morning...

  3. Also, on the age requirement, some may need to enter this program early, as in the case of my daughter. She should have been put on probation at age 3, and fully immersed in the program by age 10. I'm not sure there's much hope for her.