My mom is not what you would call a good mom. If she were an animal, my sisters and I wouldn't be here now because mother is the type who would have eaten her young. Top it off with a big ole bout of alchoholism and you can see what I'm dealing with.
So, there are 20 years between me and the next sibling (we'll call her Meg since that's her nickname) who is now 14 and 22 years between me and the last (we'll call her Leon since that's her nickname) who is now 12. Just throwing out those numbers incase you're bad at math.
Sadly, mother's poor view of the world causes her to try and tear everyone else down with phrases including the words fat ass, dumb ass, lazy ass (apparently she's obsessed with ass). I had recently noticed that my 14 year old sister was displaying some of the classic signs of low self esteem (which will happen when your own mother spends her days yelling various ass names at you), so I decided last weekend to have a long talk with Meg (and Leon for good measure).
The talk included boys, sex, alcohol, good decisions/bad decisions, self-worth, a brief excerpt from my husband and his male point of view, some funny and not so funny stories from my youth, boys, sex, proper cell phone use, consequences to bad decisions, boys and sex. Then I covered my opinion of why mom treats us the way she does (low self esteem also). That may have been a mistake, since the second mom walked into my house to pick up the girls, Meg informed mom that she, too had low self esteem. I'm hoping Meg forgot and didn't bring it back up lest my head end up on a platter...
Meg seemed to really understand the talk, which calmed my nerves a bit because she was most definitely headed down a bad path and I want her to avoid that path as if it's the plague.
Anyway, part of the issue was based on my mother's point of view that noone should date until they are 16 - which only caused me to sneak around and was having the same effect on Meg. Don't get me wrong. I love the idea of not dating until you are 16, but when you are growing up in a house with no attention (except negative), you WILL seek attention elsewhere.
After a long talk with my mother (and the point of this whole entry), I am taking my son and his girlfriend and Meg and her new young beau (who seems to be a really great, family oriented kid) on a triple date to a movie with me and the hubby this weekend. I guess I will sit in front of them but in the same theater. Or maybe go to the next theater and watch a different movie. I JUST DON'T KNOW!!! Wish me luck!